[meta-description: If you want to get to know a new friend, you might want to ask provocative questions. Discover some spicy questions to start with in this article.]
Friends are the family you choose. They are the people that you decide you’re going to let into your life and spend time with. It makes sense that you want to choose people that you know very well and with whom you can be your truest self.
Sometimes, it’s hard to get started making friends and getting to know each other. Some people also don’t volunteer information, so you might need to take the initiative and ask some questions. It’s best to ask open-ended questions that allow the person room to share their experiences more broadly. Here are some ideas for questions you can ask
Getting to Know You
Before jumping into the deep end with your spiciest questions, it’s good to cover the basics. You should know someone in a more general way first with simpler questions. Also, make sure you don’t jump into asking too many personal questions too quickly. Getting to know someone is a process that takes time, especially if you want a deep and lasting friendship. You don’t want to make someone uncomfortable by getting too personal right away.
Of course, you want to protect yourself too. In most cases, any questions to ask should be ones you’re also willing to answer. If someone seems like they’re trying to get close to you too fast or ask you for favors or money, you should pump the brakes on the relationship.
You might want to run a background check on someone before deciding to invite them into your home, introduce them to your children, or do business with them. You might also want to look at their online profiles to see what kind of activities and organizations they’re involved in.
Asking Spicy Questions
Before you jump into asking questions, you should make sure the mood is right. People are more honest when they are relaxed, so choose a more private setting where it’s just a small group of people.
You can also enjoy a glass of wine or a beer together to help set everyone at ease. Playing games are also a great way to get to know each other. You can play any board or card game and enjoy conversation, but you can also play a game like “Never Have I Ever” to really get everyone to share their experiences.
Types of Questions to Ask
Here are a few spicy questions to ask friends:
Would you ever…? Asking hypothetical questions can help you discern someone’s character and feelings. Questions like, “Would you ever kill to protect someone you love?” will tell you a lot about someone’s morals. “Would you ever cheat on your partner if you wouldn’t get caught?” is another good example. These open-ended questions let your friends explain what their values are and under what conditions they might do something ethically questionable.
Have you ever…? These questions move from the hypothetical to the concrete and clue you into their past actions. “Have you lied to get out of a difficult situation?” or “Have you ever taken something that wasn’t yours?” are good examples. They are open to interpretation in some ways as well.
Would you rather…? Giving your friend two options to choose from can give you great insight into their psychology. “Would you rather live without taste for the rest of your life or touch?” is a classic question that reveals their values in life. “Would you rather forget everything from the day before when you fall asleep or remember every moment from your life?” is also a thought-provoking question to try.
Some Other Questions to Try
Here are a few other spicy questions to consider asking your friends:
- What is your biggest regret in life?
- What achievement has made you the proudest?
- Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
- Who would you like to swap places with for one day?
- Where would you live if you could choose anywhere in the world?
- What’s your pettiest relationship deal breaker?
- What is your idea of true success?
- Who is the person you look up to most?
- Where do you want to be in twenty years?
- Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn’t?
- Were you ever betrayed by someone close to you?
- Have you ever betrayed someone close to you?
- When was the last time you cried?
- Have you made someone else cry?
- What’s the biggest secret you’ve kept from someone close to you?
Get Spicy at Your Next Hang Out
Asking provocative questions is a great way to really get to know someone and get closer to each other. Make sure that you are ready to take your relationship to a deeper level before you open that discussion. Also, be ready to give your own answers to these spicy questions because fair is fair!
